She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dick very happy bro
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
