when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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