So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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