And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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