Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
