I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
