Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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