I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
