I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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