i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
