Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
