i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
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He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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