Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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