it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
