It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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