The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
