In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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