i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
