so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
