took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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