I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize