I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
