Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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