whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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