New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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