he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
