You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
