I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize