dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize
