Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
