Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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