Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Holy shit dude........stairs
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
