You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
