i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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