we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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