Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
