This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
