so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
