Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
her facebook's as public as her vagina
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
