Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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