I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
