if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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