he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
