I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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