I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
