It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
