You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
