she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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