Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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