that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize