i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
