So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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