Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Fuck appropriateness.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
