I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize