I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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